How Long...

Dear Jesus,

It's been a couple more weeks and things have not changed. How long more will it remain this way? Sometimes I wonder what it would be like going forward. The unknown hurts so much. I've been trying and giving and yet, nothing really feels quite right.

Next week is Q's birthday and I'm planning something nice for him. I want to do the best I can for it. I want it to be perfect. But a part of me is also so afraid. I'm afraid to get hurt even more. How far should I go?

Dear Jesus, You know what's in my heart. You know the pain I'm feeling. You know the doubts I have. You know how difficult this time has been. Sometimes, knowing that I'm loved is not even enough. I need to see it. Teach me to see it and appreciate it.

I don't know what to do anymore. I'm weak and emotional. I need You. Please speak to me and let me know what Your perfect plan is for me.

Gina